On Thursday I wrote my Worst Case Scenario and if I’m honest, I was a little surprised at some of the feelings that tumbled out. A few days have now passed and I am pleased to report that my mood has been 100% better.
A couple of people remarked that it wasn’t really a fun poke at what life might be like if I didn’t get my way, it was more like giving up.
Reading it back I’ve realised a few rather important things:
I didn’t mention family or friends. Not because they don’t matter to me, but because I know that regardless of what happens to me or where I end up, my family and friends will be supportive. I’m seriously lucky to have such a wonderful, varied, clever bunch of people rooting for me both on and offline.
As for job hunting, the odds are in my favour. I have lots of skills and qualities that I can take to loads of different jobs. I’m confident, adaptable, resilient, easy to get on with. In three months I will have finished my first year of my degree (there’s no way I’ll fail, I’m rocking an 90 average on my essays) and I’ll be even more employable. So far, I’ve only been applying for jobs with charities I really want to work for but from now on I’m widening my search.
So what if I end up having to sell my camera or my sewing machine? Sure, they mean a lot to me but they’re just material possessions. I wouldn’t save them in a fire. They can be replaced.
It’s highly outrageous to worry about never falling in love or becoming a mother. I’m 25, not 105. And I don’t need to be in a relationship in order to be my best self. I am my best self, for myself.
I was surprised at how upset I felt at the thought of never travelling because I’ve never really wanted to jet off round the world and get lost in strange cities. I think this had a lot to do with the fact that I had literally just been away but it’s made me realise how much I value getting away, even if it’s just a few days somewhere in Scotland. I’m now thinking about my next couple of trips and ensuring there’s always a little bit of adventure ahead in my life.
Clearly money is weighing heavy on my mind but after a chat with The Thrifty Chick last week I realised that I’m mainly scared of going back to my old spendy ways. This is never going to happen. Stopping Shopping changed my life and my mindset completely. It took a long time to save the money I’m living on at the moment so it’s bound to feel strange watching the numbers go down instead of up. However, I know that once I’m earning again I’ll start saving again. Simple.
Considering I climbed trees and fed ducks all by myself this week, just because I felt like it, I’ve no reason to be fearful of losing my passion for life and its simple pleasures. My days are soundtracked with new music and old music and music from friends and I won’t ever stop enjoying it. It is highly unlikely that I will develop an allergy to cereal and cheese.
So I’m not even close to living out my worst case scenario. I can’t really say what my best case scenario would be, but for now I’m ok with being somewhere in the middle of the two (but nearer the top than the bottom). Oh and on Saturday I saw my first bumblebee of the year. A sure sign that things are on their way up.
Inspired by your post (and the post you linked too) I wrote my own worst case scenario down on paper and likewise, I felt so much better afterwards! And even more so after I sat down and poked holes in it too!
I found both of these posts really interesting. I write my own worst case scenarios all the time, in my head if not on paper. Sometimes it gets me even further down, sometimes it’s the kick up the backside I need – I think it really depends on where my mood is at that time.
Lovely to see a positive outlook from you today
Sometimes it helps so much to write down your worries and get them out of your mind; it really puts them in perspective – as you’ve obviously found.
Keep on truckin
I tend to forever be writing best case scenarios. Its my favourite form of day dreaming. I suggest a little dalliance with some best cases. You never know what you may learn there too! OH and 100% glad that you are feeling chipper again. It suits you better!
Oh what a great, great, GREAT post you gave me to go into possibly the worst day of work this year with!
Seriously Thank You!
Just to let you know I survived. I just kept thinking “I can always sell my sewing mashine”, for some reason that felt very reassuring…
I saw my first bee yesterday. It scared the shit out of me! You can have my naff job if you like? But only if i get to stay in Aberdeen for a bit because I met a new sexy man =P
It is very cool that you are able to see all the good things. I do think knowing what the worst case is is good, because you can work against it!
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Hey Holly, I miss your posts, come back soon
)))
Have you given up blogging? I miss your posts : (
Hi Holly,
Hope all is well. We miss you!!!!!!